Academic Writing Sample Task 1 #49

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write at least 150 words.

model answer:

The bar chart indicates a survey on two different age groups on the factors contributing to make their environment pleasant for working.

These factors are divided into external and internal factors. The internal factors are team spirit, competent boss, respect from colleagues and job satisfaction. The external factors are chance for personal development, job security, promotional prospects and money.

On the internal factors above 50% in both age groups agreed that team spirit, competent boss and job satisfaction are essential to make their environment pleasant. Whereas on the external factors, there are contrasting results. On the chance for personal development and promotional aspects, 80% to 90% of the younger groups were in favor while only less than 50% of the older group thought so. A similar pattern is also noted on job security. With regards to money, 69% to 70% on both age group said it is essential.

In conclusion, the internal factors have similar responses from the two age groups while they had dissimilar responses on the external factors.

(170 words)

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

The information contained in the bar chart has been described accurately and concisely and follows a clear progression. There is a clear introduction followed by effective comparisons between the age groups and a valid conclusion. Good formulaic phrases (the bar chart indicates, these factors are divided), although the candidate uses the same language to describe the factors in the bar chart and does not attempt to rephrase them in any way.